Posted by: Stephen Paul | October 11, 2007

What cuts you off from love?

When I sent out my monthly newsletter this month, I got more comments and responses back than ever before. I wrote about how the beliefs we adopt after traumas or shocks to our personality early in life can disconnect us from others, the earth, and Spirit in later years. Those events leave us missing parts (parts of ourselves we cut off or deny), or with debilitating doubts about our worthiness and value. In essence, they make us forget who we are.  

Has that been your experience, too? Do you have wounds that make you doubt you can relate, be of value, or be loved? Are you aware of missing parts and feel incomplete or less powerful than you believe you really are? Do you have beliefs that make it impossible to accept love (God’ s love, nature’s love, the love of others) even when it’s offered? Please post a comment and let me know. I am really trying to understand this.

I do think this is a very important step in the process of healing ourselves. If we can be in harmony with ourselves again, then our world can be a place of harmony. I’m exploring how that healing can happen. I could really use your experiences, insights, and help.


  1. I agree with the thoughts you have expressed in this blog – it is a very deep subject to explore – one with many avenues. Last year, I had the good fortune to be part of a book study in which we were looking at Marcus J. Borg’s book “The Heart Of Christianity”. One week we were assigned the task of being conscious when our hearts were open and when they were closed. This was a real eye-opener – it is almost impossible to go around with your heart wide open all the time and it wouldn’t be good sense to do this. I highly recommend this exercise as a good starting point in conscious awareness. Then a person can move on from there to rediscover the things that move them enough to have an open heart (nature, music, poetry) and the people they feel safe enough with to have an open heart. Marcus Borg explains it in his book this way: “The self builds up layers of protection to defend itself against an unreliable and hurtful world….The condition does not develop only in people with difficult childhoods. The closed heart is the natural result of the process of growing up.”

  2. My experience lately has been that although I feel worthy of love and friendship… all the love and caring I have in my heart is not enough for some relationships to survive. I’ve recently lost 2 relationships for simply being true to myself. That has resulted in being alone. Although I’m a loner by nature, I do enjoy spending at least some time with friends. I feel that my life has become very quiet in order to create a space for whatever is coming next. I will wait, peacefully, with the expectation that a positive shift is coming… whatever it may be.

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